Why can’t things stay as they are? Everything around me is changing. I feel like I’m standing on the side of a railroad track and everything around me is passing me by. Everything is changing except me. Everyone is going somewhere and I am left alone, rooted to the spot.
Even my relationships are changing. Sometimes I wish I could stay in an isolated island forever. Far from people who can leave me with deep wounds and scars. In isolation, there can be no rejection, no resentment. In isolation, I can at least protect my heart.
I want to start fresh – remain anonymous in a sea of new faces. I want to go where nobody would expect me to always be there. I want to go some place where I only have myself to depend on. I want to get back the parts of myself that I gave away and lost. I want to search for the person I can truly become. I want to recharge after draining and milking myself dry for other people. For once, I want to take charge of my life!
The Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can, and
the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.
Taking as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right, if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
