Babes,

Am feeling nostalgic again all of a sudden. Wala lang, I just read some of your emails again. Hanggang ngayon, kinikilig pa din ako. Nakakatawa noh? Haaay… we were so in love with each other then. May mga promises din tayo sa isa’t-isa pero hindi natin tinupad lahat yon. Sometimes I still wonder what really went wrong. Hindi kasi masyadong malinaw yung dahilan or am I just softening the blow for me? Siguro nga its the latter.

I don’t know if I’ll ever find someone as sweet and thoughtful as you. Maswerte yung babaeng pakakasalan mo. I just hope she knows that. Nakakalungkot nga lang na hindi ako iyon but as long as you are truly happy, masaya na din ako.

Ah, alam ko na bakit naiisip na naman kita. Baka nga pala magkita kami ng kuya at ate mo. Gusto kong umiwas kasi ayokong makita pa kung ano yung nawala sa akin. I am almost over you and I don’t want to be reminded of you. Kaya lang sadya yatang ayaw tayong paghiwalayin ng tadhana ng ganon-ganon na lang. Ayoko nang mag-isip kung bakit, basta I’ll just take things as they come.

I guess what I’m really trying to say is that I miss you. I may have forgotten for a while but I still do. Baka nga ikaw ang greatest love ko! Yikes! May ganon ba? If only we could really be friends pero mas mahirap yata iyong ganon.

Miss talaga kita. I would give anything to turn back the time. I really wish I could so that I can hug you and hear you say you love me one more time.

Always,

Nikki

I see you everyday and my heart continues to break a little each time. You are so near yet I couldn’t reach you. Will the pain ever go away? I know you didn’t make any promises and I didn’t either but still… I shouldn’t have allowed myself to hope, to dream, to wish.

You know what’s killing me? The questions going through my mind! I do not have a single answer to every question nor even a clue what the answers might be. I simply do not know what happened.  Is it too much to ask what went wrong?

I let you in the deepest recesses of my heart but you still broke it. I let you in almost every corner of my mind but you still couldn’t understand. Should I just accept defeat?

Someday soon, I will start to pick up the little pieces but for now, let me grieve…

i did not come looking for you,

yet you came quietly,

and how you shook my world!

you make me laugh,

you make me smile,

you make me wonder why.

are you for real?

are you going to stay

and soothe my restless soul?

Lord, my will may not be Your will and Your will may not be mine but still, Your will is what’s important. Thy will be done!

I have always believed that you know what is best for me. I have prayed hard for what I think is best for me, but if You think that it is not what is best, then I will accept Your will.

Only, please teach me to accept it with my whole heart. Always remind me not to question You and to always trust in You.

You have reminded me time and again that You ALWAYS provide. Let me be steadfast in my belief that when the time comes, You WILL provide.

I will accept, I will trust!

All this in Jesus’ name…

AMEN